1、上班最开心的事，就是老板不在。

Work is the most happy thing, that the boss is not in*

2、我的青春，献给了那个叫做义务教育的。

My youth, dedicated to the called compulsory education*

3、天若有情天亦老，动我姐妹全撂倒。

Heaven can be overturned, my sisters all*

4、一代天骄，成吉思汗，只识弯弓射大雕。

Genghis Khan, Gen Gi Khan, only know the Thai Wangong radio*

5、我爱的不是你，是你爸的银行账户。

I love is not you, is your father's Bank account*

6、每个月，总有那么几天不想上班。

Every month, there are always a few days do not want to go to work*

7、别让我看不上你，拿你的本事让我爱上你。

Don't let me see you, take your ability to let me fall in love with you*

8、高调最虚伪，低调才是最牛B的炫耀。

The most hypocritical high-profile, low-key is the most cattle B show off*

9、跟自己说声，对不起，这些年一直没学会爱自己。

With their own voice, I'm sorry, these years have not learned to love yourself*

10、当我们失去的时候，才知道自己曾经拥有。

When we lose, just know that he used to have*

11、谈恋爱跟叫小姐一样，只不过恋爱是分期付款。

Fall in love with miss the same, but love is installment*

12、我问我同事你在那上学呢？他说在，电大。

I asked my colleague you in that school? He said that in*

13、你完整了我的人生，但我却只是你人生中的一章节。

You've made my life complete, but I'm just one chapter in your life*

14、当幸福来敲门的时候，我或许不在家。

When happiness knocks at the door, I may not be at home*

15、以人类的体型，猪的习性活着。

In the human body, the living habits of pigs*

16、跑车，洋房，可以有，自己买。

Sports car, villa, you can have, buy their own*

17、看着你有个人皮的脸，谁知道却藏了颗禽兽的心。

Look at you have a face, who knows but hide the heart of a beast*

18、惹我光头强，揍你没商量。

Make me bald, hit you not to discuss*

19、他们的信心是我给的，你们有什么问题吗？

Their confidence is what I give, you have any questions?

20、不求与人相比，但求超越自己。

Don't compare with others, but to go beyond their own*

21、别上姐的床，姐会把你踢下床。

Don't go to my sister's bed, and I'll kick you out of bed*

22、不想变形的刚，不是好钢。

Do not want to deformation of the gang, not a good steel*

23、不要让今天的无知，变成昨天的后悔。

Do not let today's ignorance, become yesterday's regret*

24、我不要你的忽冷忽热，因为这样我会感冒的。

I don't want you sometimes hot and sometimes cold because I will catch a cold*

25、当善良的人撕下面具时，你连跪下的机会都没有。

When good people tear off the mask, you don't even have the chance to kneel*

26、我人缘好，耶稣罩我，上帝保我。

I am good, Jesus cover me, my god*

27、自己选的路，跪着也要走完。

His choice of road, kneeling also to go*

28、我给了你权利爱我，但我没给你权利放弃爱我。

I gave you the right to love me, but I didn't give you the right to give up love me*

29、我要变成仙人掌，刺死所有伤害我的人。

I want to become a cactus, stabbed to death all the people who hurt me*

30、别看姐不美，姐照样把你耍的找不着北。

Do not see the elder sister is not beautiful, the elder sister still can not play you to find the north*

31、我活了十八岁，愧对**先烈十八年。

I lived for eighteen years, eighteen years unworthy of revolutionary martyrs*

32、这几年我过的如此悲哀，什么都没换来。

In recent years I have been so sad, nothing in exchange for*

33、看我不顺眼的人我很高兴能堵住你的心。

I don't like people I am very happy to stop your heart*

34、既然姐来到了这个世上，就没打算想活着回去。

Since the elder sister came to this world, it is not going to want to go back*

35、思念，是一个人的兵荒马乱。

Miss, is a man of war*

36、不要三角恋的剧情，我恨透了那些。

Don't love triangle story, I hate those*

37、得到了站起来，换个好看的姿势在到下去。

Get up stand up, change a good position to go down*

38、去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。

Go go go, don't spoil the word youth, you are already the beginning of autumn*

39、人生总要有过一次勇敢，带着理想一起去私奔。

The life must have a brave, with the ideal elope*

40、时间不是让人忘了痛，而是让人习惯了痛。

Time is not to let people forget the pain, but people get used to the pain*

41、新世界男生，钱给老婆，幸福甜蜜都给老婆。

New world boys, money to the wife, happy sweet to his wife*

42、如果你要考验我的耐心，请先把你的耐心准备好。

If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience*

43、老妈说老婆贤惠，我看是闲得什么都不会！

My mom said I was a good wife and see what are not idle!

44、夏天中午炎热的太阳，出去玩的都是抗日英雄。

At noon in the summer, the hot sun, go out to play is the Anti Japanese hero*

45、有男不泡，大逆不道；见男就泡，替天行道。

A man does not see the male bubble, bubble, treason and heresy; justice*

46、回忆终究只是回忆，只是回不去的记忆。

Memories are just memories, but memories can not go back*

47、我把最完美的年华，献给了义务教育。

I put the most perfect time, dedicated to the compulsory education*

48、如果你爱的人不爱你，也请记得：爱由心生。

If you love people who do not love you, please remember: love from the heart*

49、天天看穿越小说，看的马桶都像穿越的洞。

Every day to see through the novel, to see the toilet like through the hole*

50、办事本来有路子，但是走的人多了，给堵死了。

Act had the road, but many people walk, blocked*

51、有些朋友，曾经无话不说，现在无话可说。

Some friends have no words, now have nothing to say*

52、带我到强大的那一天，我必定先毁了你的天下。

Take me to the strong day, I will destroy your world*

53、你要玩我感情，那就先看看自己的脸皮。

You want to play with my feelings, then take a look at your face*

54、我跟伍佰不熟，他弟弟二百五跟我很熟。

I'm not familiar with Wu Bai, his brother was familiar with me two hundred and fifty*

55、一剑一箫平生意，不负狂名十五年。

Xiao sword flat business, not fifteen years*

56、不要吹牛逼，你不知道你能吹破天。

Don't brag, you don't know you can blow the sky*

57、我是个坚强的人，彪悍的从来不需要谁担心。

I was a strong person, never need to worry about who is tough*

58、我怪自己太聪明，不该知道的都懂了。

I blame myself too smart, do not know the know*

59、媳妇都涨了，工资你怎能好意思不涨呢。

Wife wages have gone up, how can you side up*

60、人生苦短必须性感，彪悍的人生是不需要解释的。

Life is too short to be sexy, tough life is no need to explain*

61、他若爱你，不必讨好。他若不爱

/

If he loves you, you don't have to please him* If he does not love, more do not have to*

62、天空黑暗到一定程度，星辰就会熠熠生辉。

The dark sky to a certain extent, the stars will shine*

63、我和暑假分手了，因为开学那贱人！

My summer vacation and broke up, because the school Bitch!

64、如果说美貌是推荐信，那么善良就是信用卡！

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then the good is a credit card!

65、有些缘分在开始的一瞬间就结束了，就像早泄。

Some fate in the beginning of the moment is over, just like premature ejaculation*

66、爱情是什么，爱情不是色戒就是钻戒。

What is love, love is not lust is a diamond ring*

67、有些人不需要姿态，也能成就一场惊鸿。

Some people don't need posture, can accomplish a fleeting*

68、忘=亡+心。要让我忘记，除非心死了。

Forget = death + heart* Let me forget, unless the heart is dead*

69、我现在才知道，铅笔不止是b还有你。

I know now that the pencil is more than B and you*

70、因为我是金口玉牙，所以轻易不开口说话。

Because I was a valuable advice, so do not speak*

71、狡猾和聪明的差距是在道德上，不是在智力上。

The gap between cunning and cleverness is moral, not intellectual*

72、你的眼里有个我，我的眼里有个猪。

There's a me in your eyes, I have a pig in my eyes*

73、原来，友情也有新欢和旧爱。

Originally, the friendship also has new and old love*

74、失恋算什么，中国什么都缺，就是不缺人。

What is lost in love, China is lack of anything, that is, no shortage of people*

75、男人拽，照样甩，一样在我黑名单摇摆。

Men pull, still dumped, as in my black list swing*

76、我想重新认识你，从你叫什么名字开始。

I want to know you again, from your name*

77、爱情上，有些人宁愿疼死，也不愿意放开。

In love, some people prefer to die, and do not want to let go*

78、我的聪明你看到了吗？哎，你还真是个傻瓜。

My smart you see it? Hey, you're a fool*

79、我要把你放在一边晾干，然后在收回来。

I'm going to put you on one side to dry, and then I'll get it back*

80、原谅你是上帝的事，我的任务就是送你去见上帝。

To forgive you is God's work, my task is to send you to God*