1、鸵鸟的幸福，只是一堆沙子。

Ostrich happiness is just a pile of sand*

2、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混！

Read more than ten years of books, or kindergarten is better mix!

3、洗脸的时候发现原来我嘴巴很小，也是樱桃小口嘛。

When I wash my face, it turns out that my mouth is very small, and it is also a small mouth of cherry*

4、如果有一天姐变的很疯狂，请告诉别人，姐淑女过。

If one day, sister becomes crazy, please tell others, ladies and gentlemen too*

5、每个人出生的时候都是原创，可悲的是，很多人渐渐都成了盗版！

Everyone is born at the time of originality, sadly, a lot of people gradually become pirated!

6、牛粪终归是牛粪，上锅蒸了也不会变成香饽饽。

It is cow dung, steam will not become xiangbobo*

7、我知道你就是我今生要等的人，所以我要用我的今生来爱你！

I know that you are the person I want to wait for, so I will love you with my life!

8、曾以为我是那崖畔的一枝花，后来才知道，不过是人海一粒渣。

I thought I was a flower on the Bank of the cliff, and then I realized that it was just a piece of slag*

9、我费劲千辛万苦爬上梯子的顶端，却发现梯子搭错了墙头。

Our strenuous journey to climb the top of the ladder, but found the ladder against the wrong wall*

10、有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but you look at the other side too much*

11、结婚就是给自由穿件棉衣，活动起来不方便，但会很温暖。

Marriage means wearing a cotton padded dress for free* It is not convenient, but it will be very warm*

12、每一个不想谈恋爱的人，心里都住着一个不可能的人！

Every person who doesn't want to fall in love lives in an impossible person!

13、我们的目标：向钱看，向厚赚。

Our goal: money, to make thick*

14、如果是真的，我想再多看你几眼，我怕我以后会忘了你。

If it is true, I want to see you a few more, I'm afraid I'll forget you later*

15、你等着吧，总有一天我会让你成为我未来儿子的妈妈！

You wait, and someday I'll make you my future son's mother!

16、在职场中就应该像柯南那样，有一种我走到哪就让别人死到哪的霸气。

In the workplace should be like Conan, there is a kind of where I go, let others die where the domineering*

17、你丫头顶高压锅盖，身批破衣麻袋，自称东方不败，其实心里变态。

You top pressure cooker, new clothes bag, claiming Invincible Eastern, in fact heart metamorphosis*

18、我擦，手机看新闻看多了，看报纸还想双击把图片放大！

I wipe my cell phone, watch the news, see the newspaper, also want to double-click to enlarge the picture!

19、能够说出的委屈，便不算委屈；能够抢走的爱人，便不算爱人。

The grievances that can be uttered are not considered to be wronged; the lovers who can take them are not lovers*

20、执子之手，将子拖走。子说不走，好吧，关门放狗！

Hold the hand of the child and drag the child away* The son said no, okay, close the dog!

21、货有过期日，人有看腻时。你在我心里，能牛逼几时。

Goods have expired days, people are tired of watching* When you're in my heart, how long can you make it*

22、女人喜欢长得坏坏的男人，不是喜欢长坏了的男人。

Women like men who grow bad, not like men who have long been broken*

23、单身并不难，难的是应付那些千方百计想让你结束单身的人。

It's not hard to be single, but it's hard to deal with people who want you to end up single*

24、我以神的姿态，闪耀在这美的瞬间，凡人勿扰。

I in God's attitude, shine in this beautiful moment, man not faze*

25、人生不能像做菜、把所有的料都准备好才下锅。

Life can't be cooked like cooking, getting everything ready*

26、小时候有个梦想，就是长大后能变大帅哥，现在我实现了。

When I was a kid, I had a dream that I could grow up and be handsome, and now I did*

27、有A人活着，他已经死了；有的人活着，他早该死了。

A is alive, he's dead; some people are alive, he's dead*

28、学习成长的机会不在未来，而在每一个活着的当下。

The opportunities for learning and growth are not in the future, but in every living present*

29、人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。

The important thing in life is not the station, but the direction*

30、不是人人都能活的低调，可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。

Not everyone can live low-key, low-key basis is always high profile*

31、别害怕，我一直站在你的身后，总在你呼唤时守在你左右。

Don't be afraid, I'm standing behind you, always standing by you when you call*

32、要努力！为了你的奥迪我的迪奥。

Try hard! For your Audi, my Dior*

33、有些失望是无可避免的，但大部分的失望，都是因为你高估了自己。

Some disappointment is inevitable, but most of the disappointment is because you overestimate yourself*

34、上了年纪最大的好处就是：年轻时得不到的东西，现在你不想要了。

The biggest advantage of being older is what you don't get when you are young, and now you don't want it*

35、女子无才便是德，我一定是太缺德了。

Germany is the only woman, I must be too wicked*

36、没有医保和寿险的，天黑后不要见义勇为。

Without medical insurance and life insurance, don't be courageous after dark*

37、你攒够四块五，我也攒够四块五，我们就可以去民政局结婚了。

You saved four of the five, I also saved four of the five, we can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau of marriage*

38、连眼泪都没处流的人，才是人间最痛苦的人。

Even the tears have no flow of people, is the world's most painful person*

39、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman*

40、我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但是，是你逼我这么做的！

I really don't want to despise you with my toes* But you forced me to do that!

41、探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。

The journey of exploration is not to discover new continents, but to cultivate new perspectives*

42、想编织未来的美梦，现在正是时候，掌握现在，拥有一切，拥有生命。

Want to weave the future dream, now is the time, master now, have everything, have life*

43、今天无意间翻出了我初中的试卷，我擦，原来我以前还会这么多东西啊！

Today, I accidentally dug out my junior high school paper, I wipe, I used to be so many things!

44、当你做对的时候，没有人会记得；当你做错的时候，连呼吸都是错！

When you do the right, no one will remember; when you do something wrong, even breathing is wrong!

45、思念不能自已，痛苦不能自理，结果不能自取，幸福不能自予。

Miss lose self-control, pain can not take care of themselves, the results can not himself, not to the happiness*

46、有些女人穿丝袜，显得身材好。还有一些女人穿丝袜，显得丝袜质量好。

Some women wear silk stockings and look good* Some women wear silk stockings, which show good quality of stockings*

47、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。

I thought I was decadent, and today I realized that I had lost my morning paper*

48、我在楼道捡到了一张一半的一百块，我一直在寻找它的另一半。

I picked up a half of the one hundred block in the corridor, and I was looking for the other half*

49、少年不胡作妄为，大胆放肆，试问老年时哪来的题材话当年。

The young do not Hu, audacity, ask old age in which subjects words*

50、不要再折磨我，我的心已被割破，流尽的不是血，是爱你的错。

Don't torment me, my heart has been cut, not the blood stream, loving you is wrong*

51、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死啊。

I like you so much, you like me, I'll die*

52、我不是天桥上算命的，唠不出那么多你爱听的磕。

I'm not overpass fortune telling, Lao not so much you to hear the knock*

53、手拿菜刀砍电线，一路火花带闪电。

Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, with sparks all the way*

54、蝴蝶计算的，不是月份，而是瞬间，蝴蝶拥有足够的时间。

The butterfly calculates not the month, but the moment, and the butterfly has enough time*

55、请不要把我对你的容忍，当成你不要脸的资本。

Please do not put my tolerance to you, as your shameless capital*

56、年轻的时候，我们常常冲着镜子做鬼脸；年老的时候，镜子算是扯平了。

When young, we often make a face in the mirror; when you are old, the mirror is even*

57、信念这玩意不是说出来的，是做出来的。光荣在于平淡，艰巨在于漫长。

Faith is not something that says, it's made* Glory lies in the plain, the arduous lies in the long*

58、发现有个男的在偷瞄你时，装逼模式启动，后来发现想多了。

Found a man stealing you, loaded mode start, and later found that more thought*

59、人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！

The difference between a man and a pig is that a pig has always been a pig, and sometimes a man is not a human!

60、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。

Iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can be ground into a toothpick, not material, then it was no use trying to*

61、树愈静而风不止，我愈恋而他不在。

The more calm the tree is, the more the wind blows, and the more I love him, and he is not there*

62、生活就像宋祖德的嘴，你永远都不知道下一个倒霉的会是谁。

Life is like Song Zude's mouth, you never know who's going to be the next one*

63、我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺；我脾气很好，但不是没有！

My heart is small, but it's not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

64、原来只要是分开了的人，不论原来多么熟悉，也会慢慢变得疏远。

Originally, as long as the separated people, no matter how familiar with the original, will gradually become estranged*

65、喝药递瓶，上吊给绳，跳楼的挥着小手绢送行。

Take medicine, pass the bottle, hang it to the rope, jump off the small handkerchief and see off*

66、情断了，绑不住，试着放手，走与不走，留与不留，我不想懂。

Love is broken, tied, try to let go, walk and not go, stay and not stay, I don't want to understand*

67、你若先走了，转身时就不要怪我也背对着你。

If you go first, don't blame me and turn back to you when you turn around*

68、我曾经跟一个人无数次擦肩而过，衣服都擦破了，也没擦出火花。

I have numerous times with a pass, scrape all the clothes, did not see the sparks*

69、人又不聪明，还学别人秃顶。

People are not smart, but also learn bald*

70、诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊，你们凭啥要我有工作经验。

Zhu Geliang didn't take out before the soldier ah, you work with what I have experienced*

71、我也曾有过一双翅膀，不过我没用它在天上翱翔，而是放在锅里炖汤。

I also had a pair of wings, but I can't use it in the sky, but let it stew in the pot*

72、干柴遇烈火，那叫明骚；湿柴遇小火苗，那才是闷骚。

The firewood to meet fire, called Ming Sao; wet firewood in small flame, that is mensao*

73、每次称体重的时候，轻了就说，瘦了。重了就说，胸部又大了。

Every time you weigh your body, you lose weight, and you lose weight* Heavy, and the chest is big again*

74、爱情是毒药，糖衣太美妙，浅尝了即止就好，喝下了把命都送掉。

Love is poison, sugar is too wonderful, the taste is good, drank his life away*

75、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播；不仅收视率低

/

There is no dress rehearsal, every day is live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, and wages are not high*

76、铁公鸡还会留点铁锈呢，你根本就是个不锈钢公鸡！

Miser will leave some rust, you're a stainless steel cock!

77、幸福是什么幸福就是你吃鱼，我吃肉，看着别人啃骨头。

Happiness is what happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, watching other people gnaw bones*

78、老板用你的时候你就是人才，不用你的时候就变成裁人！

When the boss uses you, you are the talent, when you do not become a cut person!

79、如果你注定不能给予我期待的回应。那么就保持在安全距离之外吧！

If you're not meant to give me what I'm looking forward to* So keep the safe distance away!

80、聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise*